Friday, August 11, 2006

Shit Summer

This summer, it's so goddamn hot here in Japan, that you could fry an egg on the road. This is the hottest summer I can remember here so far. I just want to jump in a bathtub full of ice cubes. When you turn on the cold water faucet, you get water that's warm as piss. You whining bastards in Canada complaining about the heat should come here for a summer if you think it's hot there.

The 1st year I was here, I got heat rash so bad in my sac area that I could hardly walk without discomfort. It was not pretty. The smell was none too neat either if you know what I mean.

I really truly hate summer. The heat, the extreme humidity, the dust, the shitty mood everyone's in, the stench of stinky rotten bodies on the subway, the smell of rotten fruit, having to shower 3 times a day, crotch rot, I hate it all.

About the only thing good about living here in the summer is cracking open a nice ice cold beer (which only stays ice cold for about 5 minutes) and the sound of the various species of cicada, called "semi" in Japanese.

The ones we got here in Osaka are the loud fuckers though and I don't like them too much. Their my least favorite. They start their mating ritual about 5 in the morning and all you can hear from 5 until about noon is the pure cacophony of their mating call. Just one of these little bugs makes a noise loud enough to make you damn near deaf if you were to put it right up to your ear. Now imagine thousands of these things making the same noise, it's louder than being at the runway of an airport.

But I like the sounds of the cicadas in the local areas in the countryside. I can't really say which kind they are, there are so many different ones. Go to THIS PAGE to hear mp3 samples of the different species, this is a pretty comprehensive and interesting page that has all the different cicada's that I've heard in Japan. Also has a few of the ones you hear in Korea.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This summer is not even half as hot as last summer; in Tokyo anyway. It was over 30 degrees for something like 6 weeks in a row last year-even at night. A new record. This year is mild in comparison. Think about people who live in REALLY hot countries.

The heat rash has repositioned itself this year from my crotch to my gunt. Because of excess bloat due to heightened beer consumption, my bulbous belly is in continuous contact with my sweat-saturated shirt (persipration being contaminated with acidic alcolhol) causing an angry red patch at the top of the mound (cupping it). It itches like hell.

But I've learned to appreciate summer in Japan. Without it, autumn and winter wouldn't be so awesome. There is no good without evil. No Peter Cetera without Venom. Succumb! There's no use trying to fight it. It only makes it worse. Revel in it! Happoshu is cheap! Chug-a-lug.

Spielberg didn't direct Back to the Future.

Flux Design said...

Yeah, yeah, ya gotta take the good with the bad, but Tokyo's not as hot and humid as Osaka. Try living in kan"fuckin"sai for a summer instead of Tokyo. I guess I'll have to move to Russia.

I'll correct my mistake. Steven Spielberg might not have directed BTTF but he might as well have, it's got his stamp all over it.

Anonymous said...

Well as long as the coin purse is operational, that's all that matters.