Wednesday, July 12, 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME!!!!!

Well, I fucking turned 33 today. That's half of 66. Add another 6 and that's 666, and you know what that means don't you? Doom, motherfuckers. Doom. Damn, I got grey hairs and bad teeth, I guess it's all downhill from here. Happy Birthday to my asshole.

The only thing I got for my birthday was a pair of elephant underwear from my wife's sister. You can conveniently put your dick through the elephant's trunk when you get a boner, so I guess that's pretty cool. If you don't have a boner, you can still put it in, but you probably won't be able to get the head to come out the trunk.

My dick will now take on another life and speak through the elephant's trunk, kind of like Quaid speaking through that other guy in TOTAL RECALL. I was going to take a picture of me wearing the underwear with boner sticking out, but maybe that's illegal on here, and I don't think many of you would want to see my shwang anyway, so I'll save it for another time...

Anyways, this'll be my last blog for a few weeks cause I'm going to Canada for a few weeks to have a wedding ceremony and honeymoon. Love love love...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday. i always forget exactly when it is. I guess I'm only a week late this year thanks to the blog.

I hope you have a good time in Canada at the wedding. I didn't know you were going to be gone so long (or maybe you wil be "Gone Too Long" Bill Metoyer sound FX huh-huh).

I'm really enjoying your overlooked horror films series. Keep them coming.

Flux Design said...

Yeah, my review skills are getting better from writing this stuff. I always rip off little bits and pieces sometimes from Amazon reviews if I like the way it sounds. So I guess I'm just a hack as a writer. I just more or less want to expose people to see these films...