Greaser's Palace

It was about 10 years ago I think, good time in my life, I have fond memories of that time period. I was living in Halifax with 2 other guys in a top floor apartment. Anyway, one of my roommates, Tony, and I, were just sitting around bored on a Saturday night pounding back a few cold ones as usual. It was about 1 in the morning and this film called "Greaser's Palace" came on the Showcase Revue. I think at first we both wanted to change the channel, but neither of us wanted to get up and walk the whole 100 cm to the TV (we didn't have a remote). I also have to say I was curious about a movie with a title like that. Did it have something to with taking a shit? Some pretty strange pictures rushed into my head when thinking about the name.

Anyway, the movie started with the credits. As you know, the full credits are usually at the end in most films. After the credits roll by quickly, it shows a horse and carriage going around in a circle, then shows "the palace" for a few seconds, then goes to a barroom scene with a really strange country tune in the background with accordion, violin and slightly out-of tune vocals. The whole scene kind of reminded me of old spaghetti westerns visually, but was thrown off by this quirky little tune. Definitely not Ennio Morricone, but actually quite catchy. You see the camera cutting from on person's face to another, pretty funny expressions on everyone's face.

A little imbalanced, but still pretty normal. Suddenly enters a guy dressed with a white sheet over his head with holes cut for the eyes and the mouth and a cheap cowboy hat smoking a big cigar. Without saying a word, he casually butts it out on Lamey Homo's chest (you'll later find out his name and that he is Greaser's son a little later in the movie) and Lamey starts screaming and writhing on the floor as if he's being tortured or something.

From that scene, I knew this was going to be one headfuck of a movie, but an enjoying ride. Today, this remains one of my favorite movies of all time. I watch it at least every 6 months.

Some of the paragraph below is taken from a review I found on Amazon. I'm a lazy writer, so I just stole this guy's version and edited it.

"The whole story is kind of like taking the story of the bible and setting it in a western theme. The basic "plot" is this. Jesus Christ parachutes into the old west wearing a pin-striped suit and a tophat. He is on his way to Jeruselem to be an actor/singer/dancer. All he wants to do is sing and dance and he gets to do both at Greaser's Palace which is a saloon run by Seaweedhead Greaser, who spends a lot of time in a lofty outhouse trying to entice a bowel movement, while the townsfolk (and a mariachi band) wait below in anticipation."

OK, now for specific scenes. Let me just say that the whole movie is absolute madness from start to finish. The scene where the Indian is beating himself on the back, mercilessly, with an old boot, the scene where "Coocoo" pulls out his John Thomas and rapes a wooden Indian, Herve Valaquez yelling for his male, flannel night gown bearded lover, "Petuniaaaaaa . . . Petuniaaaaaaa" or the recurring line throughout the movie, "Who is he gip" or the other line, "If ya feel yer healed". What else, Jesus copulates with a young woman in the front cab of a surrey-with-the-fringe-on-top. Jesus also has an "agent" who he meets out in the desert, who looks like a beat-up version of Lou Reed with a thicker than thick Bronx accent, wearing a space helmut.

This is definitely a love or hate movie, most people will turn it off after 15 minutes, completely confused and pissed off that they spent hard-earned money on this trash. But I'd just like to say that it is absolutely worth getting, no matter how hard it is to obtain. It was issued on DVD about 5 or 6 years ago, but quickly went out of print again. It'd be nice to see a special edition of this released by Criterion or another reputable company, but I don't think we ever will. It's a shame that shit like "Titanic" gets re-issued about every 6 fucking months and movies like this never stay in print for long. But you folks who constantly like to be spoonfed the latest Hollywood garbage will never understand the importance or the genius of a film like Greaser's Palace.

This is only ONE of Robert Downey's films. Also check out the equally brilliant "Putney Swope" about a white advertising agency taken over by black people. Also, "Pound" where people play dogs in a pound. Sadly, most of his earlier work is lost, even Robert Downey doesn't even have prints. So it's hard to say whether that stuff will ever surface. I sill haven't seen much of his earlier work. But when I was doing some research last night, I found out that "A touch of greatness" is now available" on DVD. It's documentary from 1964 about the remarkable teacher Albert Cullum, who broke the mold for the boring, uninspiring public school teachers in the 1950s and 60s. So I will surely be picking it up when I get a chance...

Here's Robert Downey's Discography as a director:

1. Rittenhouse Square (2005)
2. Hugo Pool (1997) ... aka Pool Girl (UK: DVD title)
3. Too Much Sun (1991)
4. Rented Lips (1988)
5. America (1986) ... aka Moonbeam
6. "The Twilight Zone" (1985) TV Series (episode "Children's Zoo") (episode "Tooth and Consequences")
7. Up the Academy (1980)
... aka Mad Magazine Presents Up the Academy
... aka Mad Magazine's Up the Academy
... aka The Brave Young Men of Weinberg
8. Moment to Moment (1975) (as Robert Downey)
9. Sticks and Bones (1973)
10. Greaser's Palace (1972)
11. Pound (1970)
12. Putney Swope (1969) (as Robert Downey [a prince])
13. No More Excuses (1968)
14. Chafed Elbows (1966)
15. Sweet Smell of Sex (1965) (as Robert Downey)
... aka Sweet Smell of Perfume (USA)
16. Babo 73 (1964)
17. A Touch of Greatness (1964)
18. Balls Bluff (1961)