Sunday, August 17, 2008

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

George Lucas happens to be one of the the biggest anus bubbles on the planet right now. Not only did he completely mangle the last 3 Star Wars films, partially mangled the 1st 3 films, now he's putting out this CG animated trash. It looks bad. Real fuckin' bad. He's just ruined the whole image and magic of the original Star Wars movies. The man just simply has no vision left. Sure, he can do whatever the fuck he wants, he's got more money than the State of Washington, has his very successful Lucasfilm Ranch, has the Star Wars franchise stuff which is an empire in itself. Just what is he trying to prove?

I hope someone cuts his head off with light saber soon, so it will save us from any of his future creations. George, you're an assclown. Leave the universe alone and don't make any more Star Wars movies.

George should cast Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys in his next Star Wars movie. Then I might go see it.

Metallica - Death Magnetic

I don't even have to hear this to know it's gonna suck big time balls. It's pretty simple. Metallica used to make good music, now they're just a bunch of whiny old men who should be retired. Metallica, and many other classic bands, are trying to hold onto what they once had, and are just failing pathetically. We're in the age of nostalgia right now and there are many bands who are making comebacks, touring, putting out new material, just basically milking the fame thing for all its' worth. And for WHAT? Just to give the fans another chance to see them plus give the newer generations the chance to see how pathetic they are.

Van Halen recently did a comeback tour, and I heard it sucked. You can see some footage on YouTube. Extreme has a new album, but I guess they're not so old.. Alice Cooper. Rolling Stones. Motley Crue. AC/DC. New Kids on the Block. Fuck, even grindcore bands that have been out of action are making comebacks, like Carcass. It's just too much. Why can't people just be happy with what they did when they were good and leave it at that. How many times can a band get back together before they realize they just don't have it anymore. Fuckin' retire with dignity instead of looking like idiots.

The only recent "comeback" that just slayed me was Celtic Frost's new album and that came out 2 years ago.

Back to Metallifuck. Lars sucks cock and I urge you ALL to not buy this and copy it just to piss little Lars off, the whiny little drummer boy fuck. And who the hell designed the cover? It looks like a an abnormal vagina. Dumb title. Not as dumb as St. Anger but almost.

Metallica used to be a cool name, and I was proud to wear their shirts, but if I wore a Metallica shirt now, it would feel pretty much like wearing a sports shirt with a great big Nike swoosh on it meaning Metallica is nothing but a fast food nu-metal franchise now.

Don't waste your time. Listen to the old stuff when they were still cool.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Trailer Park Boys Season 1

I'm finally getting round to properly watching this series in order, having previously only seen parts or specific episodes randomly.

This is pretty much like watching my old friends in New Brunswick. Looking for dope, bumming smokes, stealing, swearing and getting drunk a lot on cheap booze, going to jail, starting fights, losing fights, buying cars with missing doors, etc. The 3 main characters are Julian, who's just got out of jail, is always holding a drink no matter where he goes, and is always looking out for his "friend" Ricky, who's always getting himself into shit. The other main character is Bubbles, who is a cat lover and makes his living restoring stolen shopping carts.

As crazy as the people and the situations become, the characters hold it all together with flawless comic logic that usually ends in hilarious parodies of typical TV style. This is a character study of some of the most fucked up beings on the planet. These are lovable and offensive people in the Sunnyvale Trailer Park yet, so get over there and take a few quarts of vodka, some dope and smokes and you're all set. Watched the whole 1st season last night, looking forward to Season 2. It'll be interesting to see how things spin out in future seasons.

Friday, August 08, 2008

Another collection of really bad (but good) album covers




















A collection of really bad (but good) album covers




















The Happening

This will be a short review because this movie simply sucks balls.

Plot? A bunch of natural chemicals from plants makes people crazy enough to snuff themselves, so a group of people try to figure out what's happening and decide to move away from where the "terrorist" plants are striking. The group is led by a science teacher, played by Mark Wahlberg.

Flat performances, dumb story and terrible characters. This is just one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Don't waste your time.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

WORLD

World was a noisecore band from Osaka, Japan and consisted of:

Hiroshi Zen (aka Left): Vocals and Noise
Akira Kawabata (aka Right): Vocals
Tadahiko Aono (aka Center): Drums
Kaname Ohara (original drummer, plays on 1st 7” only)

World is a fast, totally fucked brutal noisecore band from Osaka that started out circa 1995-96. They are the classic blurrcore threepiece except they have no guitar. So, only a drummer and 2 vocalists, but enough to generate one of the craziest noise ever made. Sort of like Masonna with drums. All their noise is generated via a special microphone created by Hiroshi Zen.

Interesting note about World's titles, each song has 2 titles because the vocalists both named their songs distinctly. For example, "Burned Away by Yourself" is also called "I Hate this World." ???????

This is about as fucked and crazy is it gets. Good luck finding this shit. I was only able to track down the split 7" w/ Crippled Bastards in Osaka a few years ago. Just got the rest of their mp3's ripped from a friend. You may be able to find the CD compilation easier than trying to find their individual 7" records.

Less than 30 minutes of total recorded output in 4 years, and some of the best in their genre. As far as I know, this band now kaput.
However, I heard Akira is now performing as a one-man noise artist.

Discography:
1996: “Why Who What” 7” (S/Sided, Meaningless Sounds, MS #003)
1995-7: "Snarl Out Vol. 1" Compilation 7"(Slightly Fast Records)
1996: “Why Nobody Understand?”: World/Yesmeansyes Split 7” (NAT Records, NAT #004)
1998: "Space - Grind Osaka" 7" (M.C.R. Company)
1999: split with CRIPPLE BASTARDS 7" (Nat Records)
200?: "why deprive the world of World???" Digipack CD collection (Lofiordie Records)

Monday, August 04, 2008

CLASS OF 1984

I have recently had the opportunity to revisit this classic 1982 film by Mark E. Lester about a new music teacher (played by Perry King, star of Slaughterhouse Five) at a very troubled inner city school where things are in a constant state of chaos. Students carry guns, knives and have to pass through a metal detector due to problems with gangs, drugs, and violence. It stars Perry King as teacher Andrew Norris, Merrie Lynn Ross (who also co-executive produced) as his wife Diane Norris, Roddy McDowall as Terry Corrigan and Timothy Van Patten as Peter Stegman, the leader of the gang of thugs who terrorize the school. It was one of Michael J. Fox's early roles, before he was a well-established actor.

The movie portrays the punk look and image that was becoming part of popular culture in the early 1980s. The movie's theme song, "I Am the Future", was performed by Alice Cooper. The film also features a performance by Canadian punk band Teenage Head.

Andrew Norris, the music teacher who's recently relocated to this area with his pregnant wife Diane (Ross) after accepting a position at Lincoln High, a run down inner city school with the worst kind thugs, misfits, lowlifes and junkies.... pretty much like a prison. Soon as he arrives he meets another one of the faculty,who gives him a few pointers on how to survive. Soon, in a music class, he runs into a group of smart-ass punks starts giving him a hard time, led by a sarcastic manipulative creep named Peter Stegman (Van Patten). Stegman and his buddies pretty much control the school. The staff, particularly the principal, are not intervening because they know that the police will just let theses guys go because of lack of evidence. Not worth the effort, in other words. After a kid has a shitty trip from some junk he bought from Stegman and his crew, Andy pushes to get them charged to stand in court. In turn, he gets his car blown up with a Molotov cocktail later that night.

The violence continues to escalate when Stegman recruits a 14-year guy to perform an initiation stunt to get into the group by stabbing one of the students (played by Michael J. Fox), leaving him in the hospital with major injuries. Eventually, Andy snaps after one of the main girls in the gang hands him an envelope (right before he has to conduct a performance at the school) containing pictures of his wife being brutally assaulted and kidnapped. They lure him into the darkened halls of the school for a final, bloody confrontation. At this point, Andy turns into fucking Rambo ready for revenge on these punks.

I already mentioned Perry King, but all the main characters are very impressive actors. I like Timothy Van Patten, he was excellent in his role as Stegmen, not just a punk but very intelligent and talented. Just also happens to be a real manipulative psychotic, and whose only goal is to rule the school and make sure sure no one gets in his way of staying on top. McDowall also gives a good performance as the tired biology teacher who really wants to make a difference in shaping young people's minds, but has pretty much given up, having been beaten down by the lack of caring on the students' part resorting to the bottle for comfort.

The last twenty minutes or so are the best part of the movie and Andy kicks some serious ass! The methods that he uses to kill his victims are pretty creative. The scene in the shop and auto classrooms are my faves, the girl pretty much kills herself trying to kill Andy by crashing a car into the wall. The final confrontation between Stegman and Andy resulting in Stegmen's demise are pretty cool too and I'm gonna leave it at that because if I tell you everything, it'll just spoil it. The violence is scattered throughout the film, and it's done pretty well with most of it being in the last fifteen minutes or so. It's really satisfying to watch these pricks get the pain dished back out to them.

I'm so glad this is finally in a proper DVD version. Anchor Bay Entertainment released it and the picture, presented in widescreen (1.77:1) anamorphic, looks very sharp and clean. As far as the audio, it's available in both Dolby Digital 5.1 and Dolby Digital Surround 2.0, and comes through wonderfully. There are lots of juicy extras including a commentary track with director Mark L. Lester and DVD producer Perry Martin, a newly created featurette titled `Blood and Blackboards' (35:32), an original theatrical trailer, two television spots, a poster and still gallery, a Mark L. Lester biography, a six page insert booklet. The only thing I don't really like too much is the previews at the first of the disc. Seems to be more and more of that these days and I just don't like it. Reminds me too much of the VHS days when you annoyingly had to FF through 15 minutes of previews to get to the film. But that's my only complaint.

Highly recommended and if you like this film, you'll also like THE PRINCIPAL starring JAMES BELUSHI, which is the same concept spun in a different way.