Weird Sex in Japan

The porn industry in Japan is a multi-billion dollar industry that shows no sign of slowing down. Japan is a country where there is some extremely weird shit going on which makes other countries look tame in comparison.

The fucked up thing about Japanese porn is THE CENSOR - it’s illegal to show bush or cock without that damn blurry mosaic. Japanese officials even go to great lengths sorting through foreign imported porn with a black felt pen to make sure no foreign penises make into the Japanese market either. The censor was introduced during the Meiji Era to “protect public morals”, but when WWII was over, it was one of the few laws the Americans decided to keep.

On the other hand, it's totally OK to show someone's anus. Judging from some Japanese films I've seen, it's also totally OK to show extreme gore and violence too. You just can't see some guy's John Thomas or a woman's forest. Pretty stupid, right? Oh, this is just the beginning...

I wouldn't consider the stuff I'm going to explain from here "porn" , but all of it is readily available and can easily be found alongside regular porn and is clearly spank material for somebody out there.

The fist kind I'm going to explain is the "Lolita" or sometimes called "Lolicon" and Junior Idol. There's a slew of these type of books that come out on a weekly basis, usually around 30 bucks a pop. (no pun intended) Softcore child porn was actually legal in Japan until as recently as 1999, when international pressure forced Japan to take action.

Their action?Instead of softcore child porn, the market redirected it’s attention to junior idol photobooks and DVDs. While most junior idols are around the 11-16 age, some such as Nanami or and the recently popular Irie Saaya have started off their modelling career as young as 6. The DVDs and photobooks showcase the young models in a variety of uniforms and swimsuits, some mostly harmless but others can get some pretty racey, but never nude.

In Canada or the U.S. many of these books would be banned immediately without question. But Japan is a country with a serious lolita complex. Things get even weirder within the junior idol collection like the young girls dressing up like cats, playing weird tag games, or acting like babies sucking their thumb. Later in their career, they usually go on to make shitty girlie j-pop music. I think very few get into the porn business, thankfully.

Perhaps it can be argued that the existence of junior idol video material etc. satisfies some people's desires, rather than forcing themselves on real children. Hmmmm, when I think about that really hard, I don't agree. Hentai manga, for example, is commonly read by your average dude on the subway, and raping small girls is a common theme in these comics. Japan has one of the highest child abuse rates in the world, and I think Manga is partly responsible for this. It's really hard to pinpoint one thing that makes Japan such a fucked up culture, but I think the wrong message is Definitely being sent out.

Next up is bestiality porn. This is not really new to Japan, but what's fucked is that it is sold over the counter just like any other porn, where as in Canada or the States, it can only be found in the black market. This is where things get really fucked. It's not just dogs that are getting some action. Eels, worms, frogs, goldfish, sea cucumbers, and even Octopus have their own little niche market cornered. Like the appropriately titled “Morale Lesbian Wriggles and Cumming Octopus Wriggles”

Now HERE's where I draw the line. SCAT VIDEOS. If you don't know what SCAT is, weeeellll, probably you don't want to know and you should skip this paragraph. These are videos in which people perform many different bodily functions on each other, like pissing, shitting, you name it. Then sometimes they chow down on the resulting excrement like it's a birthday BBQ. Again, these videos are right alongside normal porn. I've been to some used CD & DVD shops in Nipponbashi and sometimes they have fliers advertising the shit videos, which any kid could easily come in and pick up. As another interesting sidenote, most "used" shops have normal videos or CD's on display outside the shop, then you go in and there's a very small section of normal family movies, the rest is porn.

If you’re into this weird shit, you'll love Japan. It's a bit much to handle sometimes. I mean, whatever happened normal sex? Like, you know, you get down on your GF or wife, she gets down on you, then you just do the 'ol in-out in-out for 20 or 30 minutes. Missionary, Doggy-Style, sideways, her on top, whatever. Why do people need to shit on each other or get tied up to get off. I dunno, maybe I'm just missing out on all the fun. Anyway, I hope this was informative and entertaining.... Check ya later.

Pandhandling in Japan

Until today, I don't think I've ever seen a panhandler or beggar on the streets in Japan. The picture above is not the guy I saw, I didn't have my camera today.

Anyway, it's just rare to see homeless people in Japan begging. Most of them are too proud to do that. Also, it's not so difficult for homeless people living in a major city like Osaka or Tokyo to get by, because people throw out loads of great stuff every day in this country, so the homeless kind of serve as unpaid recyclers. Many homeless people gather cans, boxes, bottles, etc. to make pocket money, and build houses using stuff people throw out, which is usually good stuff. This is a country where people discard perfectly good electronics just because they want the latest and the greatest. So the homeless benefit from their carelessness and greed.

I'm not trying to say life is easy for homeless people here, that's not the case at all. BUT, many homeless people actually look like they're quite content, they probably became homeless because they didn't want to conform to such a rigid system.

I love Vancouver, but one of the worst things about living there is that there are toooooo many panhandlers. Most of them are either hooked on the booze or the smack, or both. In many cases, they're just lazy fucking punks who don't want to do anything and let society pay their way through life. Homeless people in Japan don't want to bother people or impose on people, so they just leave people alone, and people leave them alone. Also, drugs are not nearly as big of a problem as in Vancouver or NY, for example. Most of the homeless you see in Japan are over 30 at least, many being in their 40's, 50's and 60's. You don't see as many young people on the streets here like you do in Vancouver.

Anyway, I was a bit surprised to see that guy today. As an interesting note, he only had one single 5 yen coin in his hat. Don't know how long he's been sitting there, but it didn't look like he was doing too well.

SABBAT re-issues

I posted this review of "Dreamweaver" back on my TOP 25 Metal Albums of All Time post in February 2006: you can find the full post HERE

"One of the most sadly overlooked metal albums by one of the most sadly overlooked bands ever. I think this is THE BEST metal act to come out of the UK, period. It's a shame that this has never been re-issued , considering all the crap that IS being re-issued (and re-issued again...) that doesn't need to be. How many fucking times has the Motley Crue catalogue been re-issued? Answer: Too many. I'm not pissing on MC, just one example, I actually like the Crue's first 3 albums. Anyway, I digress. This is like taking "LORD OF THE RINGS" and making it into a metal musical. That's the best way I can describe it. Extremely tight songwriting and arrangements, awesome rapid-fire vocals from Martin Walkyier (who's now in another band called SKYCLAD) great sound, great concept (based on the book "The Way of Wryd" by Brian Bates) quite simply a perfect thrash album. Grab it if you can find it."

Well, I am very happy to finally find out that these have been finally re-issued. These are essential for any serious fan of 80's thrash. I picked up "Dreamweaver" but haven't been able to find "History of a Time to Come" yet, which is their first album. In my opinion, Dreamweaver is the better of the 2, but "History of a Time to Come" is not far behind, it basically set the stage for what was to come.

Pretty good re-mastering job on DREAMWEAVER, not drastically different from the original. But it's worth it just for the expanded notes and the 3 bonus live tracks. The only thing I'm not happy with, being the anal graphic designer that I am, is the cover reproduction, it's too dark and the small details are lost. Looks like they scanned the LP cover, took it into Photoshop and put the despeckle effect on it. Too bad there weren't more obscure metal albums coming out with the Japanese paper sleeve treatment. Japan's the only place they can seem to do it right.

Human Lanterns

OVERLOOKED HORROR MOVIES PART 10

It's been awhile since I reviewed anything for my "Overlooked Horror Movies" series, I believe the last one was Monkey Shines, which I reviewed in August last year. Anyway, I'm going to continue the series with this one, directed by the imfamous Shaw Brothers in 1982.

Premise: A rivalry between two renown swordsmen turns deadly when an outcast swordsman turned lantern maker with a score to settle begins kidnapping people close to both of them and using their skin to fashion lanterns.

If you like swordfighting movies mixed with a healthy dose of sickness and gore, check out this film. The movie takes place in the jian hu world of the Chinese knight. Lots of great action as well as some unforgettable horrific and gory imagery. The killer is this fucking freak who wears a skull mask and fur coats and shit. He takes his victims (who are mostly women) to his little underground workshop and then uses a water-powered mill to grind up the bones and the flesh nearby as he ties up his victims and skins them alive for use in making lanterns. This crazy Chinese fucker can leap great distances, run up trees, and maul even the most experienced swordsmen without a scratch. The gore is tame by modern standards, but it's a nicely shot classic with some bizarre imagery that won't leave your mind for a long time afterwards.

Basic Plot: Swordsman Lung (Lau Wing) hires a reclusive craftsman named Chun Fang (Lo Lieh) to make a lantern for him because he wants something really unique and special. Chun agrees to perform the task, but for his own malicious intent. Years earlier, Chun was once a renown swordsman, but he lost a fight with Lung, received a facial scare, and lost the woman he loved to Lung. After hearing a story of human lanterns, he decides to make his own with the skin of the people closest to Lung including his mistress and his wife. Lung also targets the sister of Lung's rival, Tan Fu (Chen Kuan-tai). When people begin to disappear, this causes both men to accuse the other while the local law enforcement officer (Sun Chien) is at a loss for lack of evidence. Their rivalry turns serious when Tan hires a hitman (Lo Meng) to kill Lung. The plan fails and the two square off for a final showdown until the killer appears briefly in his costume and wielding a vicious unarmed kung fu style. Suspecting the lantern maker, Lung goes to investigate his home where the killer waits for him.

Anyone familiar with Shaw Brothers films knows how unique of an atmosphere they create.Swordplay films have been a staple at Shaw Brothers for nearly two decades and filmmakers were likely struggling to come up with new ideas to keep audiences interested at the time Human Lanterns was released. The brothers succeed very well in creating that genuinely creepy atmosphere and psychological horror style that is so unique to Asian cinema. I've only seen a few Shaw Brother's films, but they always manage to have great costumes and sets that are just not of this world, kind of reminding me of Dario Argento sometimes with a huge emphasis on rich colors.

The only thing I didn't like about the film is that it's inconsistency with the horror theme. The opening of the film suggests full on horror, but I think there's too much emphasis on the swordplay and not the horror. Otherwise, the film works well and I would consider it essential viewing for any horror film buff or even Chinese swordplay film buff. Chekka chekka chekka check it out!