HOSTEL (2005)

I just stumbled upon the trailer for Hostel 2 yesterday and had no idea this existed since I rarely check out the current trailers of the Hollywood scene. I have to say I was curious about it, so I tracked down HOSTEL, the first part, directed by Eli Roth. Quentin Tarantino had something to do with this film as well, and you spot his influences in different parts of the film. Also, there's an interesting little Cameo with Miike Takashi, who directed cult favorites like Ichi The Killer, Visitor Q and the Dead or Alive Series. You can't help but think Eli Roth got a few cues from Miike, because the violence and gore equals that of Ichi the Killer, possibly even tops it.

You should definitely check this out if your fed up with the current slew of substandard pg13 teen "horror" films. The story is kinda stupid and slow at first, but you don't really care because there's tit's and ass all over the place to keep you entertained.

The story is basically about 3 horny backpackers in search of European tail who,while traveling through Europe, they get a "tip" from this guy with a weird lip to go to a Soviet Bloc-era town where the women are stunning and horny and will do whatever with foreign men, especially Americans. So, the whole dick happy trio takes off for this haven of horny, easy, beautiful women and soon after they arrive, the film gets into some nice soft-core porn sequences. But mix these with small sequences like the women talking to each with strange looks at the guys, speaking in their own language so the guys can't understand hints of the dread and uneasiness. There's a certain sense of decay to the town and its inhabitants despite the normal scenery.

So you soon find out that the girls will also sell these young Americans to a company that offers victims to anyone who will pay to torture and viscously murder for profit buisness were wealthy people can act out their sickest fantasies on captured victims.

Needless to say, the film is not for everyone. The torture scenes are very brutal and some people may actually get physically sick watching it. The first guy gets his leg and torso drilled with an electric drill and his achiles tendon cut.

Another guy gets taunted with scissors and hit witha small garden implement and his fingers are cut off buy a chainsaw. then accidentally cuts off his leg with the chainsaw. Another guy has his fingers cut off and his neck sliced.

In the films most gruesome scene a womens face is burnt by a blowtorch, causing her eye to dangle out of its socket. The eye is then snipped off by a pair of scissors. Later in the film, when she discovers how bad her face looks, she jumps in front of train, which was a very well-done scene. I've never seen a train suicide up close, but I know it's probably a pretty unsettling thing to see. Happens in Japan on a weekly basis.

Anyway, if you can handle the sickness, it's a lot of fun. Go to http://www.hostelfilm.com/

County Medical Examiners - Olidous Operettas

Well, this is a pleasant surprise. I just picked this one up on an impulse more or less because of the package design and the note on the sticker from Jeff Walker of Carcass. I thought the "WARNING: Corpse-scented disc inside" was just a joke, but sure enough, I smelled the it and it smells like a fucking mortuary.

Anyway, The County Medical Examiners are a trio who claim to be actual working pathologists with medical degrees. One guy is 63 years old. They have never played live, so the whole story could be fake, but it's definitely an interesting gimmick. The band started as a Carcass tribute group, so they sound a lot like old-school Carcass. So much actually that I'd be hard-pressed to tell the difference if no one told me. Some of the riffs even, are obviously lifted from Carcass songs, just mixed up a bit. But hey, don't let that turn you off. They'll be the first ones to admit it.

All 3 of the band members do vocals which is pretty cool, with a combination of low pitched gurgles and higher pitched rasps and screams. If you're into Carcass this CD is definitely worth checking out but any extreme metal fans in general will appreciate it.

OOEYEOO Eye Remix

Well, I took a chance on this knowing it was probably not going to be very good. And you know what? I was right! It's EYE's remix of some tunes from OOIOO's Taiga CD. If you like techno music, you'll love it, but if you're a fan of the old EYE, don't bother with this. I mean, it's not bad, it's just not that good either. Cool artwork. DJ Pica Pica Pica was pretty decent for a DJ album, it had some interesting twists and went many places, but this one just ain't happening for me. I don't understand the rave reviews this has received so far. It's good that EYE has gone into different directions, but I never thought he would get so heavily into the rave thing. Anyway, BOREDOMS (Voordoms) Super Roots 9 is coming out next month, let's hope it kicks more ass than this. Hopefully it's better than Seadrum/House of Sun too, which was a major dissapointment for me.

BACK IN KAN"FUCKING"SAI

Well, I finally returned a week ago from the frozen wastelands of Canada. I was in New Brunswick for 2 weeks, then in Vancouver for 2 weeks. All in all, it was a good trip. Other than being sick almost the entire time, I had a blast.

The day I flew from Kansai airport to Vancouver airport, I must've got that damn bird flu from someone at the airport or someone on the plane. On the flight from Vancouver to Toronto, I was really nauseous, had the shits and had the sweats something awful. When I finally got to Fredericton Airport, I had had enough of airplanes. I never slept at all that night at the hotel. I had the sweats, the shits and puked a few times.

The next morning driving home, I picked up some diarrhea/vomit medicine, then we headed home. On the way there, my my mom about 15 million stops, I just wanted to go home and lay down at that point. Then she decides to go through the car wash in Woodstock. Right before we went through, I had to chuck my cookies again, half of which I spewed all over the window and the seat before I even got the door open. The people behind us must've thought I was enjoying some Christmas cheer a little early.

Anyway, for the next 4 or 5 days, I had the shits and I couldn't stop farting. Not just farts either, they reeked something mighty. It was so bad that I had to frequently go upstairs when guests came over to visit just to hide my embarrassment and shame.

Anyway, by Christmas day I was finally over that madness. Had a pleasant Christmas day, didn't overstuff myself. Hung out with my grandfather that afternoon, went back home, and relaxed and got drunk with the old man.

Then 3 or 4 days later, I started getting a cough, mostly coughing up a bunch of green shit in the morning. As the holidays passed on, it got progressively worse and I still have it. Now the cough has subsided a little, but now it's in my sinuses, I can barely breathe through my nose. I've had this damn cold for over a month and it's not over yet.

The weather was pretty cold in New Brunswick, nothing record breaking, the coldest day we had was probably about -10 during the day, -18 at night. We had barely any snow, which was pretty unusual, considering the days when I was growing up, we'd get fucking 6 to 7 foot drifts of the shit. You'd spend half the fucking winter cleaning the shit out of the driveway.

Anyway, didn't do much else in New Brunswick, saw a few people, mostly just bummed around the house relaxing or walking outside.

On January 4th, I went to Vancouver and stayed with my friend, Ben Wilson for most of the trip. That's when my cough started getting much worse. We had intended to work on CCBE, but we only got as far as editing some of the drum tracks that Mike from Goatsblood did.

Met with Olaf and David from Hyphen, and I met with a few other companies while I was there just to check out the job prospects. Looks like there's lots of work there, but it'll probably be difficult to land work until I'm actually there.

The weather was absolute shit in Vancouver pretty much the whole time. The first day I was there, it snowed and then rained the night before, so I was trudging through half a foot of slush. I think I had one sunny day while I was there. It was cold almost every day, which I didn't mind, but the roads and sidewalks were treacherous for a few days. Vancouver is not set up to handle crazy weather conditions, so the roads didn't get salted or ploughed really except for the main roads. In the 5 years living there before, I had never experienced that kind of shitty weather in the winter.

I never did walk to Stanley Park to see the destruction that the November storm of last year caused, but I did see a lot on the news when I was there.

Anyway, it was a good trip but I am glad to be back in my own bed. I think this was a necessary trip to kind of discover some things and it's made me think Japan is not so bad after all. I just need a long break from Japan from time to time. I still haven't really changed my mind about Japan, I still know that it's not where I want to settle down, but I think I still have some thinking to do about a good many things like where I want to be and what I want to do ultimately.

I have hopes that this will be a good New Year for myself. I hope it is for everyone else too. Thanks Ben and Chris for letting me crash at your places. You're welcome to stay with us anytime.

Snazzy couple of the year

This is one of a few shots we had taken a few weeks ago. Pretty sexy couple, huh? We got 22 shots in total, so I'll post more later.

This will be my last blog for a few weeks as I'm off to Canada today for Christmas and New Year for a couple of weeks, then I'm going to Vancouver to hang out with some people. Also going to be recording tracks for the upcoming, eagerly anticipated (by Kelly Churko anyway) follow-up to CCBE's first album "Googoplex Goblets of Goatseed". The album will be title "The Wizened", hopefully we'll have time to record tracks for the 3rd CD as well.

So, I'll post some stuff when I get back. Everyone have a great Christmas and New Year. Drink, fuck and be merry!!! Cheers!!!

Tideland

I finally got around to seeing Terry Gilliam's new film, TIDELAND and I'd say it ranks right up there with his other epic masterpieces like BRAZIL, FEAR AND LOATHING and TIME BANDITS. This is classic Gilliam in every way.

First of all, I was extremely impressed by child actor Jodelle Ferland. She is amazing as the character of Jeliza-Rose and she also does all the different voices of her doll's heads, which she constantly talks to during the movie. I was surprised to discover that she's no stranger to acting. It's quite amazing considering she's still only 12 that she's built up an impressive resume filled with roles in television, film and commercials. Born in Nanaimo, BC in 1994, she started in an episode of CTV's "Cold Squad" (1998), before landing the lead role in her first film, Mermaid (2000) (TV) at the age of four. Her portrayal of the heartbroken "Desi" earned her a Daytime Emmy Award nomination, making her the youngest nominee in history, as well as a Young Artist Award.

Jennifer Tilly has a short, but very memorable role as Jeliza-Rose's mother who dies from a heroin overdose about 15 minutes into the movie. She has an extreme addiction to chocolate as well, having cases of chocolate bars around the house.

The other short, but very memorable performance is by Jeff Bridges, who plays Jeliza-Rose's father. The scene on the bus when Jeliza-Rose is being taken from the big city to her grandmother's rural farmhouse is total Gilliam. Bridges just disgusts everyone on the bus by farting, coughing, barfing on the floor and generally pissing everyone off.

As Jeliza-Rose tries to settle into a new life in a house her father had purchased for his now-deceased mother, she attempts to deal with what's happened result in increasingly odd behavior, as she begins to communicate mainly with her bodiless Barbie doll heads and Dell, a neighborhood woman who always wears a beekeeper's veil.

Then she meets Dickens played by BC actor Brendan Fletcher. Dickens is a crazy, jittery epileptic mess who has has a strangely unique kindness and lovability about him. There is some pretty sick imagery that some people will probably be offended by and no doubt some who will call Tideland a controversial film or a disturbing one, but that has more to do with those people than the actual film. There are some strange kind of sexual situations, especially between Jeliza-Rose and Dickens that to some adults would seem very dangerous and bordering on pedophilia. Again, that's up to the viewer.

Jodelle Ferland has played the most honest and innocent performance I've seen since "Spirit of the Beehive" (See my recent review in the archives). That's the last performance I remember when I've last seen a film that so honestly and accurately portrays a child's imagination.

Gilliam doesn't shy away or try to portray a happy life, but focuses on the darker side of her life and development. However, the film is not all doom and gloom, and that is one it's great strengths and Gilliam's gift of storytelling. Gilliam fills the whole film with a sense of mystery, charm and fun that makes the darkness seem more like going on a long, strange ride where you don't know where you'll end up, but you somehow know everything will be all right on the other side.

Winner of the "It's not my job" award

My friend sent me this. I don't know if it's a joke or not, but if it's real, it's a true testament to how lazy and spoiled government and union workers are. I don't know where the picture was taken, but it's likely somewhere in the U.S. or Canada.

Chindogu

I got wondering after my last post how many useless inventions there actually are in the world. Probably too many to count. After a bit of research, I quickly found that there was a book published in 1995 by an author named Kenji Kawakami, who is well-known in Japan for his creation and tireless promotion of "chingdogu" -- the art of the "unuseless idea." The book is called " 101 Unuseless Japanese Inventions" and there's also a second book called "99 More Unuseless Japanese Inventions" available now.

This book is the best of his inventions, inspired devices designed to solve all the annoying problems of domestic life, including ones you may not even realize you have yet. Reading this book is like traveling to an alternate universe. It's pretty fucked. There's now also a second book called "99 More Unuseless Japanese Inventions".

Some of the photos below are just a few of the ridiculous inventions this guy has dreamed up. Follow the links for more pictures from these books plus other interesting links of interest:

http://students.ou.edu/R/Basil.G.Rayan-1/
http://winn.com/bs/invent.html
http://unix.rulez.org/~calver/pictures/japanese_inventions/index.html
http://thenonist.com/index.php/weblog/permalink/chindogu/
http://thybag.co.uk/index.php?p=Archive&type=Inventions

The Leaf Blower: One of the stupidest and most unnecessary inventions ever conceived

"OK Asshole. What're you doing?" I felt like saying to this meathead as I was walking by after a bunch of leaf debris flew into my eyes. I took this picture today and it got me to thinking how not only useless this invention is, but how harmful and annoying it is to us and the environment. If you think I'm just being silly, why don't you check out Sacramento's opinion of the issue here... Also check out this link: http://sierraactivist.org/viewtopic.php?topic=44&forum=8

OK, number 1, they're noisy. OK, I listen to noise when I choose to, but not when I don't want to. Number 2, they pollute the air, for example, The ARB states that a leaf blower creates 2.6 pounds of PM10 dust emissions per hour, they cause stress, they emit about the same amount of smog as 17 cars per hour, they DO NOT save time, they are not superior to raking leaves by hand or using a broom, this has been proved several times with obvious results.

Think of it as the same as dust. If you blow dust off your desk or whatever, it just redistributes the dust to another place, some of which will probably end up back on your computer anyway. Same with leaves, you're not getting rid of the leaves, you're merely redistributing them. And for what reason? So your corporate office has none of them "pesky" leaves around the entrance? I can't seem to ever remember when I was pissed off at the sight of leaves in front of a building. Seems to me that nature intended them to be there, so fucking leave them be.

If there's a dead dog in front of your building, do you think there should be a "dead dog blower" invented to quickly remove the problem? Or how about a "dead human blower" in case some old guy just drops dead in front of your office? It would take too much time and effort to alert the police about it, so why not just use the quick and easy way and just use a high powered blower to blast him to the other side of the street? Let the other office across worry about? Hmmmmm, then you might have "body blowing" contests and things may get out of hand. I think you get my point. These pissin things should be banned in my opinion. That goes for leaf vacuums as well. If you're too fucking lazy to use a rake or broom, then FUCK OFF to ya...

Robert Altman 1925-2006

The film world has lost a great legend with the passing of Robert Altman a few days ago (November 20th). In my opinion, he was truly one of great American directors, there's not too many other capable American directors left today. I'm sure anyone who knows a thing or two about film will agree.

Born in Kansas City, Missouri on February 25, 1925, Altman had a pretty successful career in television before making MASH, the smash box office hit in 1970, which also yielded a long-running TV series. During the 1970s, the made a string of critically acclaimed movies including McCabe & Mrs. Miller, The Long Goodbye, California Split and Nashville.

Altman's career was kinda shaky in the 1980s with films like Buffalo Bill and the Indians (brilliant film, which nobody got) which was a flop at the box office. But in the early 90s he bounced back to success with The Player and Short Cuts. With Short Cuts he revisited a style he pioneered with Nashville in 1975 and later in "A Wedding".

In 2001, "Gosford Park" was both critically and commercially successful. His most recent film, A Prairie Home Companion, was released earlier this year, which I still haven't seen, but really want to. Early this year, Altman directed Arthur Miller's play Resurrection Blues at the Old Vic in London with Kevin Spacey being the artistic director.

Altman was always know as a hard working meticulous director who once vowed he would work all his life. Twice divorced, Altman is survived by his third wife Kathryn Reed, who he married in 1959, and five children including his son Stephen Altman, who has worked as a production designer on many of his movies.

My personal favorites are Short Cuts, M.A.S.H. and Nashville. If you want to see his full biography, filmography, notes, etc, go here.

Probably the most pointless movie of the year

...The Devil Wears Prada!!!

The only reason I had the displeasure of watching this film is because my wife insisted on seeing it, so I downloaded it just for that reason. After I read a few Amazon reviews I thought, hmmm, this just has BAD written all over it, but I said OK, I'll give it a chance, I'm pretty open, can't be that bad. Holy fucking porn puffs, was I ever wrong.

Let me start off by saying that this movie is pure dogshit. I don't know anything about the book it was based on by Lauren Weisberger, but I'm pretty certain it's not worth looking for. This is the most depressing and painful film I've watched in a long time.

The only thing this movie does achieve is to show how fucking stupid and shallow the fashion industry is and that anyone who's retarded enough to pursue a career in it should be shot to pieces.

Even Meryl Streep can't save this film. She's a great actor usually and she did a really good job of playing "the worst boss from hell" role, but I thought it was too forced and overplayed. The other actress Anne Hathaway is nice eye candy but her acting ain't too shit hot.

The other characters in the film are not even worth mentioning, they're terribly unmemorable performances. Boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring ...... need I say anymore? Getting a tooth pulled is more fun. You get my point.

About Collectors and a short review for "The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of"

"The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of" set is of special interest, not only because of the rare gems inside, but to collectors in general. The liner notes poke fun at collectors and the lengths that some will go just to acquire a rare item, only to listen to it once, then stick it on the shelf amongst the thousands of other rarities.

I though I was a serious collector. I'm not. There's reference in the liner notes to the famous Lenny Kunstadt, the man behind the Spivey Records. See more about him here. Anyway, I don't think anyone knows how many records he had exactly, but I've seen pictures of his collection and there's records piled hight to the ceiling in most of the space in his house.

The other famous collectors the notes mention are the eccentric Collyer Brothers in New York, who had a 4-story building to themselves at 2078 Fifth Avenue at the corner of 128th Street in Harlem. Their reclusiveness, filth and compulsive hoarding made them famous. They are said to be one of the biggest cases associated with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, or OCD, as well as disposophobia, or now known as Collyer Brothers Syndrome, a fear of throwing anything away.

For years they obsessively collected newspapers (they had every NY daily newspaper, which was about 10 a day, for 30 years!), books, furniture, musical instruments, and many other items, with booby-traps set up in corridors and doorways to protect against intruders. Both were eventually found dead amidst tons of junk that they had accumulated over several decades. It took the police a few days to find them, they eventually had to cut through the roof of the building to get in because all the doors had been barricaded and the windows were almost bursting at the seams with junk.

Anyway, the reason I mention all this is because I'm somewhat of a collector myself, and as any collector, I go to some probably unnecessary lengths to acquire things sometimes and probably (no, absolutely) waste more money than I should. But I'm nowhere near as obsessive as the aforementioned cases above. I'm very selective about what I collect, I don't just collect something for its' "collect-ability". What I do collect, I also listen to look at, in the case of design books.

But what is it about the artifact itself? My friend Kelly and I got into it about this subject because I have been looking for a particular CD by Morton Feldman, "For Philip Guston" the Hat Art version that came out about a decade ago, that's now getting harder and harder to find. Well anyway, I have a burned copy of it, which Kelly told me is enough. It's not like the artwork, design or packaging is anything spectacular, it's just two colors, red and black type, typical kind of avant-garde font. But just having a burned copy is not enough! I NEED the actual artifact itself. Why??!! I'd really like to know. Maybe it's the designer in me. Maybe it's the obessiveness of my character which will always be ingrained in me.

The other obsessive thing about my collecting which some would think is "going too far" is buying Mini Paper Jacket versions of CD's that I already own, just to have that pristinely printed Japanese version with the nice smell, Obi-strip and Japanese notes that I can't even read.

So yes, I have spent far too much money on things like this, but you know what? It makes me happy and it's a healthier obsession than collecting ladies underwear, or buying drugs I think. I enjoy the eternal search, the treasure hunt, the sifting through used bins at record stores. It's all very relaxing for me.

That's enough about my collecting. Now let's get to this set "The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of". Whether you know any of these bands or not, if you have any interest whatsoever in old blues and country from the 20's and 30's era, you should buy this set. It's worth every penny.

Some of these old 7 inch singles were never even made available to the public, in some cases only 1 copy exists. A lot of this stuff was acquired through door to door canvassing, which was pretty common back then for hardcore collectors. This whole collection is the result of several famous record collectors pooling their most valuable records to share them with you.

Don't be fooled by the term "blues". I'm no authority on blues but I know this is the real deal. The old blues music from this age has a magic to it which will haunt you. In a good way though. For those of you who think "blues" is George Thorogood, you probably won't get into this set. Hats off to Yazoo for putting this set out. Great package, great cover illustration too by .

Below here are some links of interest pertaining to the people mentioned above:

http://earthdude1.tripod.com/collyer/collyer.html
http://www.search.com/reference/Collyer_brothers
http://www.geocities.com/BourbonStreet/Delta/2639/LEN.HTM
http://www.spiveyrecords.com/aboutus.htm

Something else to bitch about

OK. I live in Osaka Japan. It's now November, getting a little cold but nothing serious. Temperature outside is quite perfect actually, maybe you need to put a sweater on when you go out, but sometimes you don't need to either.

I get pissed because first of all, most people in this country let the fashion world dictate to them when it's fall, winter, summer completely disregarding the actual temperature. This year, it was hot and humid until the end of October. We even had a few warm days this November which is not unusual for Kansai. yet, I seem to see many boneheads dressed up for the "cold" weather as early as the first or second week of September, which is still swelteringly hot and I'm still wearing shorts and a light T-shirt, still sweating my balls off.

Seeing people wearing winter clothing while it's still hot doesn't bother so much, it just makes me laugh. The thing that REEEALLLY pisses me off is that you can't go into a public place or take public transportation without the heat cranked. Coming home tonight on the subway from Umeda, the temperature was so hot on the train, I had to take off my sweater off and I zipped off the legs of my pants, much to the surprising gawk of onlooking commuters. The expression was total disbelief on a few people's faces.

OK, I think I am safe in saying that we don't really need the heat AT ALL in the winter on public transportation or public places such as coffee shops, retail outlets, malls, whatever because when most people go out into cold weather, they dress for it. Stands to reason that we will be just fine without wasting millions of dollars in heat costs every year. Never heard of anyone in Kansai getting frostbite or dying from being out in the cold. It's fucking ridiculous. Then the government thinks their idea of "warm business" is so genius. Sure, don't turn on the heat where you work all day, but blasting it in public places where people are already dressed warm is OK. Does that make sense? That's a big fat fucking waste of money and resources.

Same thing in the summer. Mind you, it is extremely hot and humid in the summer, and I'll be honest with you, I don't think I could survive without an air conditioner, at least in July and August anyway. But you walk into some shopping centres and it feels like you're walking into a cold storage plant.

what the fucking hell is this?

I'm just wiondering when JR is going to hire a proper translator. This is one the funniest "jinglish" translations I've seen yet. My friend saw this on the seat of the JR train because there was blood or something on the seat, someone had their period I guess. This should be made into a T-shirt. Fucking GET WITH IT JR, and hire a translator next time.

SPIRIT OF THE BEEHIVE

You should check out this wonderful little Spanish gem from Director Victor Erice. Mind you, I haven't seen many Spanish films, but this is definitely the best, and one the best films in general that I've ever seen. I'm looking forward to seeing some more of this directors' work.

Overall, this film has a very dark and haunting quality to it which is complimented wonderfully by famous composer Luis de Pablo's score.

This visually elegant "poem of awakening" takes place in a small Castilian village in the early 1940s, as traces of the Spanish Civil War are still found throughout the countryside. Ana (played by 6 year old Ana Torrent) is introduced to James Whale's classic tale of Frankenstein, an experience that forever changes her perception of the world around her.

This has to be one of the most amazing and unforgettable child performances I've ever seen. She really charmed me. Very cute kid. Actually, I don't even think she was acting, it seemed so natural. Now she's pretty hot, there's an interview with her on the extras disc. She was haunted by the experience of that movie for years, so it goes. The other child actor, Isabel Telleria, is also wonderful, playing Ana's sister, Isabel, who's always teasing Ana or trying to scare her.

The other main characters are the mother and father, who don't really have much dialogue in the film at all. The father pretty much keeps to himself most of the time working as a solitary, obsessive beekeeper and the mother spends her time dreaming about her exiled lover.

The Spirit of the Beehive is basically a captivating study of childhood unhindered by the limitations of the adult world. You'll find lots of visual symbolism and metaphor, yet it's never overdone, arty farty or artificial. Everything is tastefully done to perfection, the lighting, the details, the framing, the colors. This is simply one of the masterpieces of cinema.